Before I was pregnant, I never really understood why women shared their "birth stories", or recorded footage of the entire birthing process. It all just seemed way to invasive and gross to share.
Then I got pregnant. Got over the initial shock an denial, and suddenly I was obsessed with listening and watching whatever birth stories I could find. Everything mother and baby related, I wanted to know about it.
It's something about watching someone who has already been through what I was about to embark on that was comforting to me. My favorite moment was watching and reading about the exact moment these women became mothers. Seeing these moms capture these super intense and intimate moments was captivating. These women were literal super heroes.
On the flip side, some of the birth stories I would here about when I came into contact with other mothers were traumatizing too even hear about. It was clear after a few too many of those stories, why lots of new mothers are so a frightened by the idea of giving birth.
As I try and put together my birth story to tell you guys, I must be honest. Even though it was only 2 years ago it's mostly just one big blur. It's been that way since a few weeks after they were born sadly. I remember major bits and pieces but putting them together and in order has been a challenge. But, I will do my best to share what I remember. So, here we go!
I was 37 weeks and 2 days pregnant and I started having doctors appointments every other day since I made it to full term, 36 weeks. I was so ready for these babies to be out of me. I was so uncomfortable, the skin on my stomach hurt. I was swollen and ready to pop.
Monday morning, May 21st, I had another routine doctors appointment with my OB. I had gone all weekend thinking I would've given birth by now, and I didn't, and summer had just started. So, I was hot and irritated, I felt miserable. I woke up that morning ready to step foot in the doctors office and tell my OB that I've had enough, and that I am getting these babies out...today!
My mom came with me to the appointment while Patrick went to work. We new that this appointment would just be another check up, just like the rest.
We get to the office, check in, and I finally get sent back to get weighed and vitals ran. My blood pressure was a little high, but not alarming. I waited impatiently for the doctor to come in so that I can tell him, NO MORE!
He entered the room and immediately from my body language, he could see how tired I was. I had been begging him for over a weeks now to induce me. He would always check me out, take a look at the babies. and tell me how well we were all doing, and then he'd schedule my next check up. This time, he checked me, and I had not progressed again, still only at 1 centimeter, but something was different. He looked up at me with a smile. I had an appointment a few days earlier with my fetal high risk doctor and she noticed that Mattix's growth had slowed down so I would need to deliver soon. So, I was hopeful that my OB would say the same. He did! He told me to come back the same day at 4pm and we will have some babies the following morning. I was in disbelief, and suddenly I didn't feel so ready to actually to give birth. He explained that when I came back later that day, they would insert a balloon to dilate me overnight, but I shouldn't expect to give birth until lunchtime the next day.
On the way back to the car from the doctor's office, I barely said two words. It was time...the babies were coming. When we got home, I showered, washed my hair, and made sure Patrick and I had all of our hospital bags ready to go. We ordered lunch and anxiously waited for four o clock to roll around. Those few hours went by so slow.
Once I made it to the doctors office, I was immediately sent to a room to undress. They did the balloon procedure and inserted my catheter. It was painful but quick. All I felt afterwards were similar to mild period cramps. When that was done, they rolled me from the central part of the hospital to labor and delivery, and then it was time to wait.
Now, here is where my memory gets a REALLY fuzzy, and I don't remember very much or what happened in which order, so bear with me, please.
It was about 7 in the evening, and family members started rolling in. The nurse put monitors on my self and the babies, and we just waited. They gave me meds, which helped me sleep, but to tell you the truth, I don't remember if I slept at all.
By morning the cramps were still pretty mild, and the contractions were happening more frequently. They came in, took the balloon pump out and broke my water. I had never seen so much fluid come out of a person, and as crazy as this may sound, once they broke my water, I felt so much relief. My stomach even shrunk a little, it wasn't as tight.
They checked me; I am at 4. Not what we were hoping for. They push Pitocin to get my contractions going some more, and soon, it was time to start thinking about when I wanted the epidural. My OB and the anesthesiologist both suggested that I get the epidural sooner rather than later since I have twins, and even if I do give birth vaginally to Baby A vaginally, that may not be the case for baby B, and that in case of emergency, it's better to go ahead and have the epidural already in. We get the epidural going by 1oam when I started to feel my contraction a bit more.
They recheck me, and I am only at a 5/6. My progress is slow, and I'm feeling the contractions, so I push for medicine in my epidural. The next couple hours, Patrick and I waited as friends and family came in and out to visit and wish us luck.
By 5 pm I still hadn't progressed very much, now I was at a 6 and 1'2, and my OB was expecting me to have delivered already. They push more Pitocin, and the contractions are getting brutal. The nurses try and get me positioned comfortably, but there was no getting comfortable in that hospital bed. I was so swollen.
Fast forward to 1opm
I had finally made it to 1ocm!! I was excited, and felt so accomplished. I was about to have my babies! I finally could relax and not stress about having a C-Section, or so I thought. After my doctor checked me this last time, he tells me I'm ready and to try some practice pushes. My room was filled with family. The doctor gave everyone a chance to leave while I did this, for my privacy. Only my dad went; everyone else stayed. 7 or 8 people other than Patrick were watching me. Talk about pressure. We started the practice pushing, and he explained to me how to do it. The first one was good, I felt a ton of pressure pushing down. So we went for a second try, it was still enjoyable, but nothing happened. My OB had me try a few more times until he realized that the boys were pushing down on my cervix. Mattix's shoulder was stuck behind Mckinly's head. There was no way I would be able to get one of them far enough in my birth canal for me to push. They were both trying to come out at the same time essentially, and I needed a c-section immediately because my water was broken for too long. I was heartbroken that I was no longer going to experience the birthing process I had always invisioned.
As my family was leaving the room, I saw my parents' faces. They're scared. I did my best to look calm in front of them, because I knew exactly what they were thinking. They were going through this same thing with my brother and I only 22 years ago. And it was much scarier circumstance than mine.
They send Patrick back to get gowned up and ready and they prep me for surgery. The room was so big, and so many people were in the room. I had so much medication in my system. I was shivering uncontrollably with Patrick holding my hand. We were both scared out of our minds but equally excited. I could barely keep my eyes open. I was fighting with myself to stay awake, so I didn't miss anything. It took them no time to cut me open. I could tell when they were making cuts and tugging on my insides. It didn't hurt, but I could feel it. I kept my eyes on Patrick to distract me from focusing on what I was feeling going on beneath the curtains. Everything happened so fast. Mattix came out first, at 11:20pm. He had so much hair, he was tiny and red, but his cry was not. It filled up the room. Then the pulled out Mckinly, at 11:22pm. He was long, blonde, and pale. They were perfect. Most beautiful, wrinkly things I've ever laid eyes on. Tears fell from our eyes as I waited for the nurses to place them in my arms. Once I got them, I couldn't even feel my arms. They were so tired and weak, and I couldn't stop shaking. I remember nothing about them sewing me back up. I solely focused on not dropping my babies. Mattix weighed 5.15 and Mckinly weighed 6.56.
Overall I think I had a pretty average birth story, no major issues or anything like that. I did think I was going to be able give birth vaginally since they were both head down, but it just wasn't in the cards for me. And I didn't care. My babies were here, and they were healthy. I was healthy. WE DID IT! All that mattered was that my babies were finally in my arms, and we were all OKAY.