Hey friends! I am going to be brutally honest in this post.
Let me start by saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with spending your 20s raising babies, and there is no magical age when a woman should become a mother. I had my sons at 22. To most millennials, that's pretty young. I have always wanted to be a mom; there's no doubt about that, but I did not picture this decade of my life devoted to raising babies. Yet, here I am.
If you're anything like me, you probably imagined yourself in your 20s traveling with the love of your life or coming home to a beautiful empty apartment decorated to perfection. I envisioned weekly shopping sprees with my friends, splurging on make up and hand bags just because we can. Not wiping booties and boogers. If you asked me at my high school graduation how I envisioned my twenties, you would probably get the total opposite answer of my reality. My response would have probably been somewhere along the lines of traveling or anything else other than the fact that right now, at this very moment, I'm in bed before 9 pm with a glass a wine barely able to keep my eyes open. Most people my age would probably be out somewhere just now getting their nights started if it weren't for COVID.
Of course, I miss my life pre-babies when life was much more simple. Now my life is much more complicated to say the least. I do get the occasionally FOMO when I see friends I went college with going on spontaneous trips or random middle of the day lunches. While I'm home playing monster trucks or watching Cocomelon for the millionth time, my peers are out there living so fast and freely.
Scrolling through social media at night with sleeping toddlers on either side of me, I often catch myself glamorizing the experiences of my "kidless" friends. Mesmerized by the squares that highlight their lives. Seemingly living carefree with no responsibilities whatsoever. For a second, I resent my much more demanding lifestyle and envy those whose profiles tell a much more "interesting" story. Sometimes, I even wonder what my life would be like if I didn't dive right into motherhood so quickly.
It's easy to compare our lives with the people we see on our screens, especially when people your age have such different, more appealing lifestyles. We glamorize the pictures we see, that tells us our life is boring. It's hard when you have friends in such different seasons in life too. It causes friendships to start to crumble under the weight of living such opposite lives. Don't get me wrong, I have some fantastic friends, but it's different once you become a mother. Your priorities change, and you are not always available.
Let's be real; having babies at 22 isn't that big of a deal. But trends show that the average age of women having their first baby has gone up significantly over the years. For me, getting pregnant at 22 came with mixed emotions from everyone around me, including myself. I thought that I had so much more to do before having kids. I felt I needed to follow these concrete steps before bringing kids into the world, but obviously, that wasn't the case. Even though it was a surprise, I felt nothing but loved and supported by friends and family. Occasionally, people would ask me if I thought this would stop me from having fun, graduating, or starting my career. Luckily for me, that wasn't the case. Believe it or not, we can have ambition and babies.
Right now, I am soaking in the rest of my 20s raising babies. I always envisioned my life this way, just not as soon. I have grown up so much in these last couple of years, it's mind-blowing. This decade of my life is much different than I pictured, but each day I'm reminded that this is where I am supposed to be. I'm growing up with my babies in a sense, and it's been the coolest experience. When I look back on my twenties, I won't have a ton of pictures of my friends and me on beaches of Mexico. I will have photos of babies hanging on my hips and their heads on my chest. The sweetest, most precious stage in my life. I am so blessed with this life that shows me that even on the hard days, I wouldn't want it any other way Here's to 20 somethings and raising babies.